The First Steps
She knew she had to call her family. They had to know the news of what happened finally reached her and she knew arrangements for travel must be made. Clearly she wasn't going to take her math test tonight that she had been stressing about. She rolled her eyes at herself for stressing out over something so small as a test. The day's events made her realize the insignificance of her worry.
Her coach spoke.
"When you're ready, call your sister, Jessica, instead of your mom."
Her thoughts when to her mom and dad in that moment. She let out a sigh then picked up the phone to call the familiar number of her middle sister. The call was answered almost immediately.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Are you okay, baby sister?"
"Yeah. I'll be okay. Are you?"
She knew how close her sister was to her brother, and she was worried how her sister was taking the news. "No" was all she heard, and the rest of the conversation was a blur. They made arrangements to meet halfway between Monroe and Valdosta. Her boyfriend, Steven, would drive her to the halfway point, and a teammate would follow behind them so he would have a way back to Valdosta. Her sister would leave shortly after their phone conversation would end, which meant packing would need to be done at a swift pace.
She wasn't quite sure how, but somehow she managed to make it back to her room. Her feet carried her down the familiar path from practice to the residence hall where she boarded, but her mind was absent from the journey. Steven left her at the door to her room promising to return in a few minutes to collect her and her things. He hurried down the hall to his own room and was gone from her sight.
When she opened the door she was relieved to find her roommate absent. She was thankful she wouldn't have to explain her current emotional state to anyone yet. They weren't close, in fact they didn't know each other at all. The only thing they had in common was sharing a bathroom. They slept in separate rooms and they rarely saw each other. She wasn't sure what to do next, but she decided a shower would be a good place to start. She wanted to wash away the grime from the afternoon's practice as well as wash away her tear-stained face. As she ran the water she decided to call a childhood friend to let her know what had happened. But when she went to dial the number, she couldn't do it. She knew she had to get the words out eventually, but she wasn't ready to verbalize it. She settled for a simple text message instead, hoping it would be the easier route. Ttyping the words made what seemed to be a terrible nightmare an actual reality. The words were painful to type, but she knew saying them out loud would have been worse. All she could manage to type was "He's gone" before she crumbled into a heap on the floor letting the sobs consume her once again.
She finished her shower only after she could physically cry no more. Steven had come to retrieve her as he promised and they walked to her car together. They had to stop for gas before leaving Valdosta. When they pulled into a nearby gas station, a familiar car was there waiting to follow them. Two of her friends had already heard what happened. They stood in front of her with tears in their eyes and a basket of food in their hands. She had forgotten to eat dinner and didn't recognize that fact until she saw the basket of food they were holding. They had been so thoughtful in their gift but were at a loss for words about what happened. She didn't know how to thank them for what they did for her. She knew her words wouldn't be able to convey her true feelings of their selfless act, but she settled with a simple "thank you." She knew the memory of that moment would be ingrained in her mind forever. With a hug and falling tears, they parted ways.
She didn't cry in the car. She had cried enough in front of more people than she would have cared to. She made up her mind during the long drive home that she would hold her tears in and would only let herself cry when she was alone. She needed to put her best face forward, and she was determined to remain sound and strong even though she didn't feel that way in that moment. She didn't ask any questions to anyone. She didn't ask how it happened. She didn't want to pain anyone further with what seemed like trivial questions. She knew the outcome would still always come out the same. Her brother wasn't coming home. Well, he would come home, but in a flag covered coffin.
Somehow she knew when he sent that last text message to her the moment before he boarded his plane he wasn't coming home. She hoped and prayed she was wrong, but her gut knew the truth already. God had been preparing her for this moment, this she was sure. She looked to Him for the strength she knew she didn't have on her own, held her chin up, and prepared herself for the longest two weeks of her life.
Her coach spoke.
"When you're ready, call your sister, Jessica, instead of your mom."
Her thoughts when to her mom and dad in that moment. She let out a sigh then picked up the phone to call the familiar number of her middle sister. The call was answered almost immediately.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Are you okay, baby sister?"
"Yeah. I'll be okay. Are you?"
She knew how close her sister was to her brother, and she was worried how her sister was taking the news. "No" was all she heard, and the rest of the conversation was a blur. They made arrangements to meet halfway between Monroe and Valdosta. Her boyfriend, Steven, would drive her to the halfway point, and a teammate would follow behind them so he would have a way back to Valdosta. Her sister would leave shortly after their phone conversation would end, which meant packing would need to be done at a swift pace.
She wasn't quite sure how, but somehow she managed to make it back to her room. Her feet carried her down the familiar path from practice to the residence hall where she boarded, but her mind was absent from the journey. Steven left her at the door to her room promising to return in a few minutes to collect her and her things. He hurried down the hall to his own room and was gone from her sight.
When she opened the door she was relieved to find her roommate absent. She was thankful she wouldn't have to explain her current emotional state to anyone yet. They weren't close, in fact they didn't know each other at all. The only thing they had in common was sharing a bathroom. They slept in separate rooms and they rarely saw each other. She wasn't sure what to do next, but she decided a shower would be a good place to start. She wanted to wash away the grime from the afternoon's practice as well as wash away her tear-stained face. As she ran the water she decided to call a childhood friend to let her know what had happened. But when she went to dial the number, she couldn't do it. She knew she had to get the words out eventually, but she wasn't ready to verbalize it. She settled for a simple text message instead, hoping it would be the easier route. Ttyping the words made what seemed to be a terrible nightmare an actual reality. The words were painful to type, but she knew saying them out loud would have been worse. All she could manage to type was "He's gone" before she crumbled into a heap on the floor letting the sobs consume her once again.
She finished her shower only after she could physically cry no more. Steven had come to retrieve her as he promised and they walked to her car together. They had to stop for gas before leaving Valdosta. When they pulled into a nearby gas station, a familiar car was there waiting to follow them. Two of her friends had already heard what happened. They stood in front of her with tears in their eyes and a basket of food in their hands. She had forgotten to eat dinner and didn't recognize that fact until she saw the basket of food they were holding. They had been so thoughtful in their gift but were at a loss for words about what happened. She didn't know how to thank them for what they did for her. She knew her words wouldn't be able to convey her true feelings of their selfless act, but she settled with a simple "thank you." She knew the memory of that moment would be ingrained in her mind forever. With a hug and falling tears, they parted ways.
She didn't cry in the car. She had cried enough in front of more people than she would have cared to. She made up her mind during the long drive home that she would hold her tears in and would only let herself cry when she was alone. She needed to put her best face forward, and she was determined to remain sound and strong even though she didn't feel that way in that moment. She didn't ask any questions to anyone. She didn't ask how it happened. She didn't want to pain anyone further with what seemed like trivial questions. She knew the outcome would still always come out the same. Her brother wasn't coming home. Well, he would come home, but in a flag covered coffin.
Somehow she knew when he sent that last text message to her the moment before he boarded his plane he wasn't coming home. She hoped and prayed she was wrong, but her gut knew the truth already. God had been preparing her for this moment, this she was sure. She looked to Him for the strength she knew she didn't have on her own, held her chin up, and prepared herself for the longest two weeks of her life.
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