That Hot September Day
It was another hot day in South Georgia. Sticky and humid as it was though, practice continued on as it normally did. That day the girls met early to accommodate clas scheduling conflicts. She was given her mileage for the day, and as she began she hoped that the day's run would be better than all the others she had since school started. She seemed to be in a bit of a rut, but couldn't figure out what was going on. As usual, during the last 800 meters she decided to pick up the pace in hopes that her finishing kick on the long runs would transfer over to her race days. She always had a hard time putting herself into another gear at the end of a race, but she never had any difficulties at the end of a long run.
She waited until she heard her watch beep before she came to a stop. When she looked at her time, she was happy to see she had improved. "Finally, a good run," she thought to herself. She started back to the complex to quickly retrieve her things so she would have time to eat dinner before her math exam that evening. As she walked down the hall she noticed her boyfriend talking to another one of her temmates, but something about the conversation looked a little strange to her.
"Is everything okay?" she asked him.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright," he responded.
"Are you sure? Because it doesn't seem like you're okay."
"Yup. Everything's fine."
"Well, I don't believe you. I know you well enough to know when something is wrong, but I'll get it out of you soon, don't worry."
She had reached the hall where her things were stored in the closet, and unexpectedly she saw her coach heading straight toward her in a manner that was startling. She had never seen the look that she saw on his face before, especially not towards her. He had all of her belongings in his hand, and he threw her shirt toward her chest.
"Get your clothes back on and come with me right now."
She was out of her mind with worry wondering what on earth she had done wrong to cause her coach to act this way. As she put her shirt back on, she followed him to athletic office and into a conference room. There her eyes met the Athletic Director, the women's assistant basketball coach, the compliance coordinator, her coach, and her boyfriend. She was confused by what was happening, but she thought for sure she was being kicked off the team or being kicked out of the school. They had her sit down at the table, and her boyfriend and coach both took a chair on either side of her. She avoided eye contact with everyone but her coach. She looked at him with longing eyes, begging him to tell her what the meaning of all of this was. Choosing his words carefully as to not say the wrong thing, he began to tell her why she was there.
She remembered him saying that he had a call from her family because they couldn't reach her any other way. He mentioned something about her mother, but she didn't hear it because her mind was already whirling with visions of her mom being in a motorcycle accident. Hadn't her mom just taken a trip on a motorcycle? Was she okay? But when he kept speaking and made no further mention of her mom, she realized it must be something else. Hadn't he mentioned that she gave specific instructions about something? He said her boyfriend had to be with her when she was told the news. He didn't even have to say the words because she knew in that instant what had happened and why she was sitting in that room. The words confirmed her realization. "Your brother" was all she heard, and that was all she needed to know.
She sobbed.
Her heart wrenching sobs filled not only the room, but also the ears of those who were present. She never cried in front of others, but in that moment she didn't care who saw her and she didn't care who heard her. Her world had just been flipped upside down with the words she had feared since the day she found out her brother would be deployed. Her only brother, who she grew up with for 19 years, was gone. She would never hug him again, or hear him lovingly call her baby sister. She knew he would never respond to her last letter, or hear how his feet were healing after running a half marathon in his new shoes. She would never again see him as she turned a corner on a cross country course wearing his crooked smile, or hear him call out while she ran past him.
She knew how much it pained her coach to be the deliverer of such news, and she felt sorry that he had to shoulder that burden. She knew in that moment her coach would never be the same, but she was thankful that he had the courage to do what no other person would willingly want to do. After what felt like hours, she composed herself and stood to take her leave. She knew the next steps would be difficult ones to take, but there was no way around it. Through the wilderness she went, taking her grief with her. She knew it would be a long journey, but she would make it to the other side. She just had to remember how to put one foot in front of the other first.
She waited until she heard her watch beep before she came to a stop. When she looked at her time, she was happy to see she had improved. "Finally, a good run," she thought to herself. She started back to the complex to quickly retrieve her things so she would have time to eat dinner before her math exam that evening. As she walked down the hall she noticed her boyfriend talking to another one of her temmates, but something about the conversation looked a little strange to her.
"Is everything okay?" she asked him.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright," he responded.
"Are you sure? Because it doesn't seem like you're okay."
"Yup. Everything's fine."
"Well, I don't believe you. I know you well enough to know when something is wrong, but I'll get it out of you soon, don't worry."
She had reached the hall where her things were stored in the closet, and unexpectedly she saw her coach heading straight toward her in a manner that was startling. She had never seen the look that she saw on his face before, especially not towards her. He had all of her belongings in his hand, and he threw her shirt toward her chest.
"Get your clothes back on and come with me right now."
She was out of her mind with worry wondering what on earth she had done wrong to cause her coach to act this way. As she put her shirt back on, she followed him to athletic office and into a conference room. There her eyes met the Athletic Director, the women's assistant basketball coach, the compliance coordinator, her coach, and her boyfriend. She was confused by what was happening, but she thought for sure she was being kicked off the team or being kicked out of the school. They had her sit down at the table, and her boyfriend and coach both took a chair on either side of her. She avoided eye contact with everyone but her coach. She looked at him with longing eyes, begging him to tell her what the meaning of all of this was. Choosing his words carefully as to not say the wrong thing, he began to tell her why she was there.
She remembered him saying that he had a call from her family because they couldn't reach her any other way. He mentioned something about her mother, but she didn't hear it because her mind was already whirling with visions of her mom being in a motorcycle accident. Hadn't her mom just taken a trip on a motorcycle? Was she okay? But when he kept speaking and made no further mention of her mom, she realized it must be something else. Hadn't he mentioned that she gave specific instructions about something? He said her boyfriend had to be with her when she was told the news. He didn't even have to say the words because she knew in that instant what had happened and why she was sitting in that room. The words confirmed her realization. "Your brother" was all she heard, and that was all she needed to know.
She sobbed.
Her heart wrenching sobs filled not only the room, but also the ears of those who were present. She never cried in front of others, but in that moment she didn't care who saw her and she didn't care who heard her. Her world had just been flipped upside down with the words she had feared since the day she found out her brother would be deployed. Her only brother, who she grew up with for 19 years, was gone. She would never hug him again, or hear him lovingly call her baby sister. She knew he would never respond to her last letter, or hear how his feet were healing after running a half marathon in his new shoes. She would never again see him as she turned a corner on a cross country course wearing his crooked smile, or hear him call out while she ran past him.
She knew how much it pained her coach to be the deliverer of such news, and she felt sorry that he had to shoulder that burden. She knew in that moment her coach would never be the same, but she was thankful that he had the courage to do what no other person would willingly want to do. After what felt like hours, she composed herself and stood to take her leave. She knew the next steps would be difficult ones to take, but there was no way around it. Through the wilderness she went, taking her grief with her. She knew it would be a long journey, but she would make it to the other side. She just had to remember how to put one foot in front of the other first.
I love you, Jordanne! Never forget that!
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