Reflections
Well of course I would post a little something because we hit another milestone in our lives in June! Perhaps I should write about our whole experience with having Noah...mainly because I'm still pretty mindblown about the whole thing, and duh, I'd love to share! Maybe one day...hahaha.
June 28th marked our one year anniversary. Sure, It's just a year, and we have a while before we (hopefully, God willing) make it to the golden anniversary, but this year has seriously been such a huge blessing. Like, our cups have been overflowing all year long, it's just crazy! All within one year we've gotten married (obviously), gotten our first apartment together, I graduated with my bachelor's degree, we became aunt and uncle, I got my first "big girl" job, we had Noah, Steven graduated with his Master's, and he found out that he'll be the Assistant Cross Country Coach for GCSU. It's been a lot to take in, honestly. I still cannot believe how fast this year has gone by, and I know that's how the rest of my life is going to be--one big fast blur. Noah is growing so fast, it makes me so incredibly sad, happy, and proud all at the same time. I guess the emotional rollercoaster ride didn't stop post-pregnancy, and I guess that's a new thing that I'm going to have to learn to deal with (because I used to NOT be overly emotional).
I have been incredibly blessed with such a sweet husband. God honestly knew what he was doing when he placed Steven in my life 8 1/2 years ago. We've always loved and cared from each other from the start, although I know he didn't like my choice in music (Metallica, System of a Down, Bright Eyes, Smile Empty Soul, Story of the Year, just to name a few..bahaha) and I know he didn't like my baby blue hightops that I colored in with my pens, he was willing to look past all that and love me for me. One thing that has ALWAYS bothered me is the way people say how much they want a relationship like ours. Uh, why? Our relationship has been less than perfect, trust me. Most people don't know the whole story, and I'm honestly not willing to share the details because there's no need. We've made our share of mistakes and had a few detours here and there, but they've all helped shape and mold our relationship into what it is now. Don't think I haven't cried myself to sleep over a silly college-aged boy, because trust me, there was a point where I cried myself to sleep every night for a good year. Surprised to hear such things? You shouldn't be. No relationship is perfect, and it doesn't come easy. It's actually a lot of hard work, and if you're not willing to put it in, then you should pack your bags and head for high ground because you will not survive the whiplashes of a relationship, let alone a marriage.
A lot has happened in the past 8 1/2 years we've been together. I think the toughest rut we went through together was when my brother was killed. My world was rocked when my college cross country coach had to be the one to deliver the news to me, and I'm sure that probably took a huge toll on him emotionally as well (thanks Todd, for being strong enough to tell me). Steven had hardly seen me cry up until that point, and I cried for at least an hour before I could even move myself from the room to go pack my bags for the toughest 2 weeks of my life. Steven has told me that he thought I would never be the same after that. He was afraid he'd never see me smile again, and that I would never be able to laugh and have fun the way I always do. Lucky for him, he was the one who helped me find Jesus when I was a junior in high school (which at that point I thought was the worst year of my life..what a sissy I am!) and Jesus is the one who kept me together and brought me back to my normal self. Steven never complained, although I know he felt so helpless when I would just look at him and burst into tears at the most random times. I don't know what I would have done without Steven in that time. Yes, I had my heavenly comfort, but sometimes you just need another person to physically be there for you. So, thank you for that, my darling, for sticking by my side even when you thought you lost "me."
Everyone makes marriage out to be the happily ever after that you see at the end of all those movies. Hollywood tries to make it seem like it's all warm and fuzzy with sunshine and rainbows all the time. Well, reality check, it's really not. You're not going to be happy with your permanent roommate every day of your life. It's bound to happen that one of you is going to make a stupid remark that sets the other person over the edge. You'll get mean faces thrown at you, sarcasm will go flying, and then there's the silent treatment (which, I'm pretty good at apparently) that seriously infuriates the other person. But at the end of the day, you have to make a point to forgive the other person, but you have to apologize as well. It takes two to tango. More than likely than not, that fight you just had involved two parties, and both should be begging each other for forgiveness. I'm not going to say I'm always the first to apologize, and I'm not going to say that I never point the finger and put the blame on Steven for things, because then I'd be lying to not only y'all, but to myself. It's tough admitting to yourself that you're probably the one who started all that mess when it's so much easier to throw the blame on the other person. We never go to bed upset with each other, that's our biggest rule. You're not guaranteed another second on this earth. You wouldn't want your last night with your loved one to end with a fight, would you? I know I wouldn't.
At our wedding, instead of doing the unity candles or pouring sand into a glass like everyone else does, we did something different. We decided that we wanted to wash each others feet, as a sign of servitude towards each other. You can't be a good leader unless you are a servant first. Servants have humble hearts, and humble leaders are much easier to follow than pig-headed leaders who think they are over you. We are each others equals, and we take care of each other. We split the load so that neither of us will be crushed under the weight of it. And when we can't handle the load, then we both throw the load to God because he is more than capable of carrying our burdens. I'm not worried about our future because I know our future rests in good hands and I know the both of us will be provided with the things that we need in life.
I'm thankful that we were able to make such a beautiful covenant with each other. We're stuck with each other forever, through the good times and the bad. I honestly couldn't have picked a better person to go through life's winding road with, and I look forward to all the memories that we're going to make in the future.
June 28th marked our one year anniversary. Sure, It's just a year, and we have a while before we (hopefully, God willing) make it to the golden anniversary, but this year has seriously been such a huge blessing. Like, our cups have been overflowing all year long, it's just crazy! All within one year we've gotten married (obviously), gotten our first apartment together, I graduated with my bachelor's degree, we became aunt and uncle, I got my first "big girl" job, we had Noah, Steven graduated with his Master's, and he found out that he'll be the Assistant Cross Country Coach for GCSU. It's been a lot to take in, honestly. I still cannot believe how fast this year has gone by, and I know that's how the rest of my life is going to be--one big fast blur. Noah is growing so fast, it makes me so incredibly sad, happy, and proud all at the same time. I guess the emotional rollercoaster ride didn't stop post-pregnancy, and I guess that's a new thing that I'm going to have to learn to deal with (because I used to NOT be overly emotional).
I have been incredibly blessed with such a sweet husband. God honestly knew what he was doing when he placed Steven in my life 8 1/2 years ago. We've always loved and cared from each other from the start, although I know he didn't like my choice in music (Metallica, System of a Down, Bright Eyes, Smile Empty Soul, Story of the Year, just to name a few..bahaha) and I know he didn't like my baby blue hightops that I colored in with my pens, he was willing to look past all that and love me for me. One thing that has ALWAYS bothered me is the way people say how much they want a relationship like ours. Uh, why? Our relationship has been less than perfect, trust me. Most people don't know the whole story, and I'm honestly not willing to share the details because there's no need. We've made our share of mistakes and had a few detours here and there, but they've all helped shape and mold our relationship into what it is now. Don't think I haven't cried myself to sleep over a silly college-aged boy, because trust me, there was a point where I cried myself to sleep every night for a good year. Surprised to hear such things? You shouldn't be. No relationship is perfect, and it doesn't come easy. It's actually a lot of hard work, and if you're not willing to put it in, then you should pack your bags and head for high ground because you will not survive the whiplashes of a relationship, let alone a marriage.
A lot has happened in the past 8 1/2 years we've been together. I think the toughest rut we went through together was when my brother was killed. My world was rocked when my college cross country coach had to be the one to deliver the news to me, and I'm sure that probably took a huge toll on him emotionally as well (thanks Todd, for being strong enough to tell me). Steven had hardly seen me cry up until that point, and I cried for at least an hour before I could even move myself from the room to go pack my bags for the toughest 2 weeks of my life. Steven has told me that he thought I would never be the same after that. He was afraid he'd never see me smile again, and that I would never be able to laugh and have fun the way I always do. Lucky for him, he was the one who helped me find Jesus when I was a junior in high school (which at that point I thought was the worst year of my life..what a sissy I am!) and Jesus is the one who kept me together and brought me back to my normal self. Steven never complained, although I know he felt so helpless when I would just look at him and burst into tears at the most random times. I don't know what I would have done without Steven in that time. Yes, I had my heavenly comfort, but sometimes you just need another person to physically be there for you. So, thank you for that, my darling, for sticking by my side even when you thought you lost "me."
Everyone makes marriage out to be the happily ever after that you see at the end of all those movies. Hollywood tries to make it seem like it's all warm and fuzzy with sunshine and rainbows all the time. Well, reality check, it's really not. You're not going to be happy with your permanent roommate every day of your life. It's bound to happen that one of you is going to make a stupid remark that sets the other person over the edge. You'll get mean faces thrown at you, sarcasm will go flying, and then there's the silent treatment (which, I'm pretty good at apparently) that seriously infuriates the other person. But at the end of the day, you have to make a point to forgive the other person, but you have to apologize as well. It takes two to tango. More than likely than not, that fight you just had involved two parties, and both should be begging each other for forgiveness. I'm not going to say I'm always the first to apologize, and I'm not going to say that I never point the finger and put the blame on Steven for things, because then I'd be lying to not only y'all, but to myself. It's tough admitting to yourself that you're probably the one who started all that mess when it's so much easier to throw the blame on the other person. We never go to bed upset with each other, that's our biggest rule. You're not guaranteed another second on this earth. You wouldn't want your last night with your loved one to end with a fight, would you? I know I wouldn't.
At our wedding, instead of doing the unity candles or pouring sand into a glass like everyone else does, we did something different. We decided that we wanted to wash each others feet, as a sign of servitude towards each other. You can't be a good leader unless you are a servant first. Servants have humble hearts, and humble leaders are much easier to follow than pig-headed leaders who think they are over you. We are each others equals, and we take care of each other. We split the load so that neither of us will be crushed under the weight of it. And when we can't handle the load, then we both throw the load to God because he is more than capable of carrying our burdens. I'm not worried about our future because I know our future rests in good hands and I know the both of us will be provided with the things that we need in life.
I'm thankful that we were able to make such a beautiful covenant with each other. We're stuck with each other forever, through the good times and the bad. I honestly couldn't have picked a better person to go through life's winding road with, and I look forward to all the memories that we're going to make in the future.
Comments
Post a Comment