The things you think you know.
Most of my life I was brought up Catholic--I'd go to the same Catholic church just about every Sunday, as well as go to Sunday school. In second grade I was "baptized" and received communion, starting my journey to be confirmed into the Catholic church. I couldn't really tell you much of what I learned all those years I went to church, and I didn't even really know how to find a book in the Bible, let alone tell you what any of the books were.
My freshman year in high school my boyfriend asked me to go to church with a mutual friend of ours one Wednesday night. I went with them, and when we got there, the youth group was playing Bible trivia. I was pretty nervous to be in a new church, especially since I didn't know anyone there other than my boyfriend, his brother, and our mutual friend--but even more nervous because I was afraid of not knowing any of the answers to the trivia questions.
I didn't know one single answer to one single question that they asked that night. I felt pretty lame and pretty dumb for not knowing anything about the Bible, especially since I had gone to church all my life. I decided to go to a Sunday service at this church, and it was like a completely different world to me. Never before had I actually heard a sermon from the Bible, never before had I heard the preacher yell and go crazy about what he was saying, and never before had I heard anything about being "saved." It took me a really long time to figure out what being saved meant because I didn't want to look silly and ask someone else what it meant.
A couple years passed, and I didn't really agree with what was going on in that particular church, so one Wednesday night I went with my boyfriend's brother to a different church. That particular night there was a student giving his "testimony" (another term I hadn't heard of before), telling us what God had been doing in his life and how God had changed his life. While I was listening to him speak, my stomach started to flutter and I started feeling so..strange. I felt like I was being pulled, yanked in different directions, but I didn't understand what the feeling was all about. I just kept listening to the words he was saying, and I started questioning myself. I believed in God, I knew there was a God, wasn't I "saved?" Wasn't that all there was to being saved--just believing there is a God? I was going to Heaven right? I do all the things I should do, I have good morals, I'm a good person, isn't that enough to get to Heaven?
The invitation came and went, and my emotions were building up so much inside I just wanted to cry. I never said anything to anyone that night about what I was feeling--I didn't ask anyone all the questions I had--I just ignored the feeling, or tried to at least.
A few days later, I still had the same feelings as I did that Wednesday night. It was so overwhelming one night when I was in my room that I couldn't handle the feeling anymore because I realized what was going on. Clearly, I wasn't saved. I thought I knew God, but He didn't know me. I never formally introduced myself to Him, I never gave Him control of my life, I never waved the white flag, I never asked Him to save me from myself. That night in my room, I caved--I didn't want to control my life anymore, I didn't want to go another second without knowing who God really is.
April 9, 2007 I realized I was lost, but God found me =) It completely blows my mind to know that I went to church all my life, went through all the motions, sang all the songs, listened to all the scriptures and yet I was completely lost the entire time. Not once had I thought about where I would spend eternity because I thought just believing there was a God and doing good things would get me there; not once had I understood the meaning of what it really meant to be baptized. It took me 17 years to realize that where I stood spiritually would be where I would spend the rest of my life--apart from God.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see."
"Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."
John 14:6
" I tell you the truth, anyone who believes has eternal life."
John 6:47
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op4n0EF3PdU
I encourage all of you to listen to this song--the words are so true. Even in the darkest of times, God shines His light so bright, you'd be crazy not to follow Him!
My freshman year in high school my boyfriend asked me to go to church with a mutual friend of ours one Wednesday night. I went with them, and when we got there, the youth group was playing Bible trivia. I was pretty nervous to be in a new church, especially since I didn't know anyone there other than my boyfriend, his brother, and our mutual friend--but even more nervous because I was afraid of not knowing any of the answers to the trivia questions.
I didn't know one single answer to one single question that they asked that night. I felt pretty lame and pretty dumb for not knowing anything about the Bible, especially since I had gone to church all my life. I decided to go to a Sunday service at this church, and it was like a completely different world to me. Never before had I actually heard a sermon from the Bible, never before had I heard the preacher yell and go crazy about what he was saying, and never before had I heard anything about being "saved." It took me a really long time to figure out what being saved meant because I didn't want to look silly and ask someone else what it meant.
A couple years passed, and I didn't really agree with what was going on in that particular church, so one Wednesday night I went with my boyfriend's brother to a different church. That particular night there was a student giving his "testimony" (another term I hadn't heard of before), telling us what God had been doing in his life and how God had changed his life. While I was listening to him speak, my stomach started to flutter and I started feeling so..strange. I felt like I was being pulled, yanked in different directions, but I didn't understand what the feeling was all about. I just kept listening to the words he was saying, and I started questioning myself. I believed in God, I knew there was a God, wasn't I "saved?" Wasn't that all there was to being saved--just believing there is a God? I was going to Heaven right? I do all the things I should do, I have good morals, I'm a good person, isn't that enough to get to Heaven?
The invitation came and went, and my emotions were building up so much inside I just wanted to cry. I never said anything to anyone that night about what I was feeling--I didn't ask anyone all the questions I had--I just ignored the feeling, or tried to at least.
A few days later, I still had the same feelings as I did that Wednesday night. It was so overwhelming one night when I was in my room that I couldn't handle the feeling anymore because I realized what was going on. Clearly, I wasn't saved. I thought I knew God, but He didn't know me. I never formally introduced myself to Him, I never gave Him control of my life, I never waved the white flag, I never asked Him to save me from myself. That night in my room, I caved--I didn't want to control my life anymore, I didn't want to go another second without knowing who God really is.
April 9, 2007 I realized I was lost, but God found me =) It completely blows my mind to know that I went to church all my life, went through all the motions, sang all the songs, listened to all the scriptures and yet I was completely lost the entire time. Not once had I thought about where I would spend eternity because I thought just believing there was a God and doing good things would get me there; not once had I understood the meaning of what it really meant to be baptized. It took me 17 years to realize that where I stood spiritually would be where I would spend the rest of my life--apart from God.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see."
"Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."
John 14:6
" I tell you the truth, anyone who believes has eternal life."
John 6:47
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op4n0EF3PdU
I encourage all of you to listen to this song--the words are so true. Even in the darkest of times, God shines His light so bright, you'd be crazy not to follow Him!
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